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Roqwell

Roqwell - I can't right now.

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Roqwell    42

I've started to mull it over and I've come to the conclusion I really can't raid right now even partially.

 

Being honest with myself right now and what I'm trying to work through that I am not physically or mentally healthy at that moment. I'm trying to deal with an all-but-physically abusive professor that's messing with my head and gaslighting me (who unfortunately is the professor of my capstone class and therefore has a strong hand in whether or not I'll pass the major).. speaking of which I have to create a large body of work for that capstone that will require a minimum of 20 hours a week outside of class to complete in time.. stage management of a devised play written by the ensemble is 3x more work than a normal show and I wasn't really expecting that.. one of my peers/coworker has decided I should be her scapegoat for everything that ever goes wrong, which is making daily life difficult and borderline unsafe due to her anger issues, which from a recent email I got from her is going to make things A LOT worse.. grandfather is still dead and I don't have the time to go through the grieving process normally and keep having episodes of depression.. then the conferences, theatre competitions, job applications, class and homework I just.. can't.. right now. I'm not even in a good enough mental state to try and wrap my head around how many people have left raid or the guild or any of that without having another breakdown.

 

I'm hardly eating or sleeping but I do have friends that will remind me to do that occasionally when they remember. I'm going to see counseling services if at the very least to see if they know what to do about my professor.

 

When this semester is over or when the play is over I'll re-evaluate things to see if they're any better and if I can come back to raid but at the moment it's too daunting to think about.

 

I'll be online here and there. I do seem to be enjoying the occasional Hearthstone game even though my cards are barely above the basic sets so you'll probably see me sometimes playing that but otherwise I doubt I'll be online in WoW at all.

 

Sorry guys.

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We love you Roqwell. You do not owe us anything. We are all your friends and know that life sucks. If and when you're ready, we'll be here to support you. <3

Also, you'll be happy to know that my belly has gotten A LOT mushier since August.

Edited by Nerita

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Roqwell    42

To summarize, things got a lot worse, but then they got spontaneously better.

 

Due to factors out of my control, work that I should have had the full semester to do was crammed into the second half for my art capstone. Ended up on a schedule working 31 hours a week trying to finish it (along with 5 classes and a 15 hour job) and reached a point of mental and physical exhaustion that was becoming life threatening. But, worked it out with the college, so now I'm a part-time student (only in 2 classes) and will be returning in the fall as my last semester to finish my double degree. I'll have the summer off to relax and take care of myself to improve my health from where it currently is.

 

So overall I'm doing a lot better now. The theatre show I'm stage managing is in production right now so that's taking up my time and energy. A few bumps but still going well.

 

I may return to raiding soon but I'm not sure when it would be. Could be next week or could be a while still. Just wanted to let you guys know that things are going well now.

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